She is in my trunk
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
