I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize