summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We talked him into tasing himself.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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