How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
