dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
