doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
