I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
