I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
