This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize