that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
