Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
