he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
