you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
