Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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