Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
