Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
