Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
