I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
