i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
