you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize