im about as happy as oj after his trial
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
