I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
