I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
