I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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