I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
