Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
