so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
