fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
