Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
