Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
