Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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