the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
