His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
