It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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