i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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