Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
