I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
