Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
