She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize