1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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