whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
we're so committed to being not committed
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
