Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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