You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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