Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize