Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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