Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
