I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
