I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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