if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
