dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
