Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
