youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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