OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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