Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
