people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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