I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
