it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
