And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
