I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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